A Mexican Werewolf in Texas
...or, I wasted part of my life watching this so you don't have to.
I had wanted to seen this for a while, since I saw it blogged on Cryptomundo. It seemed groovy--an underground pic with loads of potential. Maybe it would be schlocky, or cheesy, or a taut thriller that shirked the conventions of mainstream Hollywood.
It was none of the above.
I'm just glad no one I know has heard of it, and I watched it alone, so I can pretend it never happened.
First of all, it's not about a "werewolf", it's about Chupacabra. The only mention of a werewolf in the movie is in a seriously obtuse bit of dialog where an old man raves "It sounded awful...like a werewolf!"
I'll save you the trouble of watching this and give you my thoughts.
1. Some bad movies seem like the creators watch what comes out of Hollywood and say to themselves "This looks cool, let's do that!" This movie seems like the creators watched high school video productions and said "This looks cool, let's do that!"
2. With a sizeable cast, odds are that at least one person, even a bit player, is a decent actor. That's why I was so surprised when not one of the actors in this did anything closely resembling acting. I've seen better acting in high school plays. And goddamnit, can the lead male character try getting through one scene without smiling? Ok, maybe that's a bit harsh. Martine Hughes, who played Rosie, the lead character's best friend, who finally got the scholarship she needed to get out of town and make something of her life and then died at the end, showed some signs that she's heard of terms like "scene", "script", and "straight face".
3. Speaking of getting out of town, I lost track of the number of times someone said something about how much the town sucked, or how there was nothing to do there. That makes me think there should be a drinking game with this movie. It's called asshole. Play it with your friends instead of watching this movie. The town in question is supposedly a small town in Texas. A sign reads "Population 327". Later, after a significant percentage of the town is killed, they show the sign again. I looked hard to see some sign of creativity, like a big grafitti 'x' over 327 replaced with '316', but all I saw was a blinking "12:00" from where the cameraman forgot to set the camera's time.
4. I wonder if the guy that made the soundtrack did it because he couldn't get a job as a roadie for a local covers band. I'm guessing he didn't even try to go for that job.
5. You know how in movies, both good and bad, you have an inner monologue running, like "Oh, I hope he makes it!" or "Please, he's gonna be attacked, I can see this coming a mile away!"? That doesn't happen with this movie.
6. In my downloading spree, I picked up what looks to be some really cheesy werewolf movies, including "Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory" and a MST3K werewolf movie. I wish I could find "Mexican Werewolf in Texas" but apparently no one has heard of it. And I've never seen it, right everybody?
That's what I thought
I had wanted to seen this for a while, since I saw it blogged on Cryptomundo. It seemed groovy--an underground pic with loads of potential. Maybe it would be schlocky, or cheesy, or a taut thriller that shirked the conventions of mainstream Hollywood.
It was none of the above.
I'm just glad no one I know has heard of it, and I watched it alone, so I can pretend it never happened.
First of all, it's not about a "werewolf", it's about Chupacabra. The only mention of a werewolf in the movie is in a seriously obtuse bit of dialog where an old man raves "It sounded awful...like a werewolf!"
I'll save you the trouble of watching this and give you my thoughts.
1. Some bad movies seem like the creators watch what comes out of Hollywood and say to themselves "This looks cool, let's do that!" This movie seems like the creators watched high school video productions and said "This looks cool, let's do that!"
2. With a sizeable cast, odds are that at least one person, even a bit player, is a decent actor. That's why I was so surprised when not one of the actors in this did anything closely resembling acting. I've seen better acting in high school plays. And goddamnit, can the lead male character try getting through one scene without smiling? Ok, maybe that's a bit harsh. Martine Hughes, who played Rosie, the lead character's best friend, who finally got the scholarship she needed to get out of town and make something of her life and then died at the end, showed some signs that she's heard of terms like "scene", "script", and "straight face".
3. Speaking of getting out of town, I lost track of the number of times someone said something about how much the town sucked, or how there was nothing to do there. That makes me think there should be a drinking game with this movie. It's called asshole. Play it with your friends instead of watching this movie. The town in question is supposedly a small town in Texas. A sign reads "Population 327". Later, after a significant percentage of the town is killed, they show the sign again. I looked hard to see some sign of creativity, like a big grafitti 'x' over 327 replaced with '316', but all I saw was a blinking "12:00" from where the cameraman forgot to set the camera's time.
4. I wonder if the guy that made the soundtrack did it because he couldn't get a job as a roadie for a local covers band. I'm guessing he didn't even try to go for that job.
5. You know how in movies, both good and bad, you have an inner monologue running, like "Oh, I hope he makes it!" or "Please, he's gonna be attacked, I can see this coming a mile away!"? That doesn't happen with this movie.
6. In my downloading spree, I picked up what looks to be some really cheesy werewolf movies, including "Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory" and a MST3K werewolf movie. I wish I could find "Mexican Werewolf in Texas" but apparently no one has heard of it. And I've never seen it, right everybody?
That's what I thought
posted by Terry Hart at 11:31 PM
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